INEOS Grenadier Quartermaster Pickup (2024 - ) review

A last-minute U-turn means certain pick-up trucks can still qualify for the VAT exemption and more attractive personal tax rates when used as a commercial vehicle. Unfortunately, the lack of payload capacity means Quartermaster isn’t among them, meaning even business users will be paying passenger car rates for VED/road tax and Benefit In Kind. Which, given it’s an expensive, thirsty vehicle chucking out a lot of CO2 is going to hit you hard in the wallet. There is at least a VAT-qualifying commercial version of the Station Wagon now available, along with a Chassis Cab option for the Quartermaster intended for conversion into specialist working vehicles as required. For all but committed business buyers the Quartermaster you see here is really an expensive (if impressive) lifestyle plaything, though. An electric version of the Grenadier called the Fusilier is in the final stages of development, meanwhile.

Ineos is a new brand with little reliability record to speak of as yet, but all Grenadiers are built in a former Mercedes factory by an experienced workforce who know how to screw a vehicle together. Proven BMW engines and parts sourced from a range of respected and specialist off-road suppliers meanwhile builds confidence, the Grenadier has already been through a punishing testing regime in some of the toughest environments on the planet and is backed up with an impressive five-year warranty. A network of certified workshops can meanwhile carry out any maintenance or repair work required, though Ineos can’t match the infrastructure of established players like Land Rover on this count.

All Grenadiers are built like tanks, so you can rest assured anything you run into (this side of an actual tank) will come off worse. It’s a modern vehicle as well, so comes with all the required safety aids like automatic emergency braking, annoying speed limit alerts and lane-keeping warnings included. We’d like an easier way to disable the speed alerts than having to go through the screen menus, if it’s all the same. In the off-road environments it’s built for the Quartermaster will meanwhile keep going where even the likes of a Defender or Mercedes G-Class might fear to tread, the Tonka-toy toughness inspiring huge confidence. Suffice to say, the more slippery and difficult the terrain the more secure the Quartermaster feels.

Best manage your expectations because the Quartermaster is no modern SUV to drive. Even commercial pick-ups like a Volkswagen Amarok or related Ford Ranger feel car-like in comparison, the uncompromising focus on off-road toughness meaning the steering, ride quality and road manners are more like the old Land Rovers it so clearly resembles. Which will be fine if that’s what you’re coming from, and the Grenadier feels much more solidly made. But a shock for pretty much anyone else. The extra length in the wheelbase and body also make it pretty unwieldy in anything other than open country, though the square corners of the bonnet and upright driving position mean great forward visibility. In the back you get a conventional three-seat bench as per the Station Wagon, though legroom is hardly generous given the overall size and, beyond regular cubbies, there’s zero storage space inside the cabin. Hence anything you carry will have to go in the load bed, which can be made more secure with a roll-back shutter or roof-height canvas top over a metal frame as you prefer and can carry a single Euro pallet if you move the spare wheel to a different position. Built-in bars and tie-downs mean you can lash things to the roof or fit a proper rack as required, the airline inspired ‘tool belt’ on the doors meaning you can attach accessories like jerry cans, sand ladders or anything else that takes your fancy with sturdy quick-release fixings.

For more conventional cars we’d usually be discussing things like touch-screens, interior fabrics and paint options. But the Grenadier Quartermaster isn’t a conventional car, and Ineos would rather talk about the off-road hardware, standard centre differential lock, ladder frame chassis and other off-road hardware. If that leaves you staring blankly instead enjoy the fit-for-purpose interior with switches deliberately chunky enough to be usable with thick winter gloves on and drain plugs so you can literally hose the mud out of the footwells. A lambswool carpeted Range Rover it ain’t. Quirky features include the much misunderstood ‘Toot’ button, which is intended as a less aggressive alert than the regular horn for cyclists, horse riders and others you may encounter in the great outdoors – as useful as it is fun. Other than a small screen for warning lights behind the wheel all your information comes through the central screen, which is a little clunky in comparison to mainstream rivals but, like the rest of the vehicle, functional enough even if the glow on unlit roads is distracting. A ‘Smooth’ pack with rear-view camera (recommended) and other creature comforts is standard on the Belstaff-inspired Fieldmaster and Trialmaster editions, the latter including all the hardcore off-road extras. The 3,500kg towing capacity will also be welcomed by lifestyle users pulling speedboats, horseboxes and the like as well.

Electrification is coming with but for now the Quartermaster’s engine choices are as old-school as the looks, with the choice between BMW sourced petrol or diesel six-cylinder engines. These drive all four wheels through a proven eight-speed automatic gearbox, a low-range transfer case meaning a theoretical total of 16 forward gears to get you up and over pretty much anything. Both engines have a suitably gruff sound and power delivery, the diesel a tad more muscular and probably better for towing while the petrol is a little smoother. In both cases the weight of the thing keeps the gearbox busy, meaning we often reverted to the manual mode and oddly out-of-context BMW shifter to hold the gears instead. You’ll have got the gist now but performance in an Ineos context is more about off-road ability than 0-60mph times and cornering prowess, which is entirely appropriate given the size and slow-geared steering. You adapt to the latter within a few miles but the fact it doesn’t self-centre when you come out of corners or junctions is a shock at first, if a characteristic of trad 4x4s of this nature.