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If Premier League teams were cars

Tongue firmly in cheek, Auto Trader app firmly in hand, we built our own Premier League of cars for 2020. What do you think?

Since the Premier League’s been postponed until 30 April (and even that’s looking optimistic), we decided to put together our own Premier League listing to fill the time and have a bit of fun.
These picks are just our collective opinion, pulled together whilst working from home. Fancy having a go yourself? Make your own matches by searching through the Auto Trader app and sharing your top picks with us on Twitter or Facebook. Over to you...
Just like the DeLorean DMC, Liverpool FC are desperate right now for a time machine to either take them to the end of this current season (whenever that might be) or even back in time 29 years ago to when the club last won the League and Back to the Future was released in cinemas.
Related: here's our picks for the best cars from movies, ever.
Man City
The (gold) Bugatti Veyron was really good decades ago, but now the driver looks a bit sheepish to be at the wheel. Nobody knows how much it really costs, or what it even is. Also currently banned from reaching full potential on European roads.
Related: meet Bugatti's new £4.5 million hypercar - The Divo.
We’ve compared the team to the Subaru Impreza WRX. Usually a bit mediocre, apart from one unbelievable example - built entirely on speed - which to this day people still can’t quite believe happened.
Maybach was established just two years before Chelsea Football Club, and now specialises in building cars for the amusement of Russian oligarchs living in London. Daimler bought Maybach in 1960 – but didn’t properly get going until the early noughties. It’s expensive, lavish and powerful but compromised by an antique platform (planning still pending with Kensington council on Stamford Bridge).
Man Utd
Just look at the Jaguar XJ220, it's the 90s personified. The quality of Scholes, the temper of Roy Keane, the speed of Kanchelskis and the verve of Giggsy. Also has a bit maverick like Eric, and if all of this doesn't get you revved up, it's as gorgeous as David Beckham.
You’ll have to go back as far as the late 1950s to when Wolves last won the league. The same time the Mini was born as a standout British classic. Despite its small statue, today the Mini Hatch punches well above its weight, competing for a top 10 spot in 2020 sales in the UK, whilst also proving popular in Europe. You've got Nuno Espirito Santo to thank for blowing those bloody doors off.
Sheffield Utd
Like the Kia Sportage, they are honest and no-nonsense but good quality, economical and unexpectedly challenging the more established players. They’ve also picked up a few awards on the way.
Tottenham Hotspur
Some say they are like the Lancia Delta Integrale. Buccaneering, freewheeling and stylish but haven't won anything for ages. A constant tale of hope and failed expectations but with the odd moment of supreme achievement.
Compare this team to the Renault Avantime. A car with plenty of French flair, loads of tech, full of new ideas, and oozing style. After a great start and getting on The Top Gear cool wall, it ultimately flattered to deceive, ending up disappointing its passionate followers due to a basic lack of quality.
This one is clearly a Dacia Duster; cheap, scrappy and no frills, but bloody efficient and great value for money.
Crystal Palace
Like the Ford Capri, the 1970s were the heyday for this club. Noisy, more than the sum of its parts, and traditional, it’s an uncomfortable place to be if it's not yours and you don't know it well.
We decided on the Citroen 2CV for these guys. Horrible to watch, you're sure they're going to topple over and crash every time they turn a corner (change manager) but somehow, they always get to their destination of mid table, safely and in the most boring manner possible.
'The Homer': built by a company looking to recreate former glory, looks like great fun but can be a bit mental, "sounds like the world is coming to an end", inevitably led to financial ruin.
We immediately thought of the Volvo P1800 for these guys. Volvo's come up with some of the best ideas in modern motoring, mirroring Southampton's regular supply of wicked players to the Premier League's top clubs (Bale, Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Mané, Van Dijk, Lallana and, err, Ricky Lambert). The car was driven by The Saint, which is another handy link…
Like the Lambretta TV 175, it’s perfect for the upcoming Bank Holiday season. Always a bit on the margins but colourful, stylish and every couple of decades it enjoys a resurgence
West Ham
The Ford Escort RS Turbo. On its day, it can take on the big boys, is loads of fun but completely unpredictable and suspect reliability. Used to make a lot of noise, now widely considered to be a money pit.
BumbleBee Transformer: two cars in one. One week beat Liverpool (Chevy Camaro), next get beaten by Villa (VW Beetle). And we're always changing our manager!
This team is like the Nissan Cherry. The car your gran would drive, the Nissan Cherry has something honest, homely and down-to-earth about it, just like Bournemouth (The Cherries) and their manager, Eddie Howe. Of all the Premier League managers, he's also probably the one your gran would invite round for tea, too.
Find more by Nissan here.
Aston Villa
Like the Land Rover Defender, the team hails from the Midlands and have seemingly been around since the start of time. They need all four wheels driven to traverse the peaks and troughs of the football league.
Is the new Land Rover Defender a hit or a miss? Rory Reid finds out in our YouTube feature.
Norwich City
Canary yellow and based in Norfolk, both Norwich City and the Lotus Europa area bit quirky. They’re an outside choice, with a few great moments but ultimately failed to really establish themselves amongst the big boys.
Handy links
Step one: Find your contenders: Auto Trader app
Step two: Share your league: on Twitter or Facebook. Related: Buy a Premier League footballer's car on Auto Trader.

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