Living with a… Land Rover Defender 130 (Month 1)

One 5ft 6in working mother, one 6ft 2in partner, four teenage boys aged 12 to 17 and all too tall to mention, and one slightly overweight and arthritic black Labrador. So that’s a lot of shapes and sizes for one family car that needs to get us all to school the shops, football, rugby, hockey, cricket, work, the station, the airport, Kent, Doncaster and Cornwall.

Erin says: “It ticks every box on the Snapchat/Insta hit list of a teenager, it turns out. Which, as far as I can tell, is anything that would look good cruising at 15mph in LA with indecent music making everyone’s ears bleed.”

How much has it cost you?

I can tell this section is going to be dominated every month by the fuel costs. Ouch, ouch, ouch. When you drive an electric car and charge at home on an off-peak tariff overnight, you get used to 400 miles costing you a tenner. Four hundred miles in this car (380 in fact), or one tank to be precise, costs £110. That’s going to take some getting used to. It’s almost nostalgic, harking back 25 years to when I had a job that meant I had to test a lot of supercars, and got through a lot of fuel. I’d forgotten the pain.

Where have you been?

Almost immediately to Gatwick, to drop off five people for their summer holiday, so we’ve already been very thankful for the seven seats this Defender has, thanks to the optional Captain’s Chairs layout, which gives you two seats in the middle row, with a walk way through to three more in the third row. It’s a gorgeous luxury; not only does it make the interior feel very spacious and a privileged place to sit, given the arm rests of those two middle seats and all the leg room for the third-row passengers, but it means no awkward flipping of the middle seats to clamber into the rear. You just climb aboard and walk to the back. Doors to manual and cross check. We’ve also already done some off-roading in it, albeit across grassy parkland to get to a sausage and cider festival (what other sort is there?). It was momentarily thrilling for everyone on board.

What have you been carrying?

The dog, Milo, because this is a car styled for muddy countryside strolls. Weirdly, however, a Defender is not the ideal solution for Milo: the boot is too high up so it’s a struggle for him to leap up, and we have to carry him down otherwise he jolts his arthritic shoulder. Also, with all seats up, the boot is tiny, so you need the third row down, but then he’s not contained in a boot, and skids all over the back of the car, looking non-plussed. He certainly can’t go on the seats because it’s not safe and, more importantly, they’re white.

Delights

Given my job as a motoring journalist for 25 years, my kids have been blessed with being driven about in Rolls-Royces, Ferraris, Bentleys, Lamborghinis and Porsches (also Hyundais, Dacias, Vauxhalls, Fiats, Citroens and everything in between I hasten to add), but nothing has elicited the gasp of sheer joy my 15 year old son emitted when we turned into the driveway and saw this whacking great big Defender with its matt black wrap and white seats. It ticks every box on the Snapchat/Insta hit list of a teenager, it turns out. Which, as far as I can tell, is anything that would look good cruising at 15mph in LA with indecent music making everyone’s ears bleed. God, I sound like my mother.

Frustrations

With that rear tyre on the tailgate of the 130 chassis, this car in insanely long. It barely fits into any parking spaces, anywhere, so you can definitely forget about trying to find a free spot on your local high street - it’s carparks only, as long as they have wide turning points. Also, some tree sap has already made a nasty mark on the matt black wrap. Damn.

Month in a nutshell

It’s going to be a lot of fun, and very expensive. We love this car, and are also embarrassed by it. We’ll see which of those wins out.