by Vijay Pattni

You can’t touch this! Watch out MC Hammer – there could be a new rap star on the scene…

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you J Cizzle and his magnificent beat box bizzle.

Confused? Well, one intrepid Clarkson fan has decided what the world really needs right now is a Top Gear rap star.

And who better than the King of Powersli-Ding himself, Jeremy Clarkson? With a vocabulary to shame Eminem, a vernacular to embarrass Jay Z, more bling than P Diddy can handle and…the world’s greatest pause, J-to-tha-C is more than a match for today’s Hip-Hop stars.

But rather than approach the big man for new stuff, he’s spent literally hours poring over old Top Gear episodes, recording Jeremy’s expressions and condensed them into a handy-sized three minute song.

The result? We think you’ll agree, Vanilla Ice’s days are numbered. Oh wait, he’s not around anymore…

It’s Hammertime! Now, after me: “Hi, my name is, my name is, my name is…”

This...is the best Jeremy Clarkson rap ever (and quite literally the only one)