The Porsche Cayenne hall of shame

12 May 2009

As yet another monstrously modified Porsche Cayenne is announced, Adrian Hearn looks at the German 4x4�s hall of shame.

Let�s be honest, the Porsche Cayenne doesn�t offer the aesthetic appeal of an Aston Martin or a Lamborghini. The ever-subtle Jeremy Clarkson said the Cayenne �was drowned in Lake Ugly.�

However, it�s been a huge sales success for the German car maker with more than 250,000 sold in six years.

It was an instant favourite with Europe�s modifiers who have made the Cayenne more powerful and even more vulgar.

Here are the best �styling kits� we�ve found.

MAFF Design Muron

The MAFF Muron is the latest Cayenne abomination and just check out the front. The grille manages to out-Peugeot Peugeot in the basking shark stakes.

Bucharest-based tuner MAFF has made the Muron 60mm wider and fitted 22-inch wheels.

The Romanian company offers the Muron with up to 700bhp � more than any production Lamborghini, Ferrari or Porsche.

Gemballa Tornado

When pictures of the Gemballa Tornado were released, we put a taste and decency warning on the Auto Trader website, to be on the safe side.

The German tuners, who normally do a good job of modifying Porkers, gave it a somewhat intimidating bodykit.

On the plus side they slashed the Cayenne�s weight by 250kgs and increased the car�s power from 493bhp to 740bhp.

As a result, the Tornado will accelerate from 0-62mph in 4.3 seconds before reaching a top speed of 186mph. Thankfully there are 420mm front disc brakes to stop the 2-ton brute.

But it wasn�t solely the looks which put us off the Tornado; the £360,000 price-tag was also pretty eye-watering.

Mansory Chopster

Mansory may not be too well known in Britain, but the German company certainly makes itself recognised on the continent. And no more so than at the Geneva Motor Show where it debuted the Chopster in March.

The Chopster, with its black and orange paintjob, got more attention than the Bugatti Veyron-based Linea Vincero it also presented.

With 710bhp on tap, the Chopster will hit a claimed top speed of 187mph, putting it on a par with the Audi R8.

Mansory fitted the Chopster with 23-inch alloys, huge air intakes and a centrally-mounted exhaust so large you could probably hide in it.

But the previous three can�t compete with this Victorian-freak-show-of-a-Cayenne photographed in Russia.

We�re not sure who�s to blame for this or what�s been done to it so we�ll just leave you with a few shots of the yellow model which makes us slightly nauseous.