Sally Traffic: "I flashed my driving examiner"

If money was no object, I’d have a Bentley, and a chauffeur to go with it

Vijay Pattni catches up with the traffic reporter about singing in seedy nightclubs, motorway chickens, and her racy driving test.

“I remember it very clearly – I was wearing a short green skirt.”

Sally Boazman’s driving test was not the straightforward experience she had in mind.

“The back window was steamed up so I thought I’d impress my examiner by offering to clean it.

“As I leant back, I suddenly realised I had exposed my entire backside and knickers to him! I don’t think he ever recovered.”

Thankfully, Sally passed first time – with no help from her underwear – and went on to report the travel news, joining BBC Radio 2 in 1998, via a number of radio stations and even a stint working with Greg Dyke.

So what are the most bizarre traffic reports Sally has ever filed?

“I reported on an old lady who was driving the wrong way down the M4, and once when a truckload of chickens spilled out onto the motorway.”

Speaking of motorways, Sally is an encyclopaedia of fascinating road facts.

“Did you know that a lot of Mills & Boon’s old stock was pulped to layer the M6 toll road?

“So if you’re ever driving along the M6 toll road and suddenly feel a little romantic, it’s because you’ve got all the romance going on underneath you.”

This and other motoring facts are included in her new book, The Sally Traffic Handbook.

“I keep calling it the toilet book – it’s the perfect book for reading when you’re in the toilet.”

The book also includes hilarious facts on the strangest road names in the country, Sally’s favourite bumper slogans and the name of her first car.

“My first car was a Hillman Imp…I called it Esmeralda. It was a funny old thing – the engine was in the boot and it was made out of aluminium.

“It was tiny, but had a lot of poke. I pummelled mine, driving it all over the country.”

But which car really gets her revved up?

“If money was no object, I’d have a Bentley, and a chauffeur to go with it.”

Sally learnt her first engine maintenance lesson while on the hard shoulder in Twickenham.

“I stopped to top up the coolant level – I opened the cap and a whole load of boiling water came bubbling out of the top and burned me, and I was rushed off to hospital – it was quite embarrassing.”

But not the most embarrassing motoring escapade Ms Boazman has encountered.

“I’ve been caught scratching places I shouldn’t have been. The thing about driving is coaches and lorries can look into your car and see everything you’re doing.”

One of the benefits of being a radio celebrity is nobody seems to notice when you’re out enjoying yourself.

“The great thing is nobody knows what I look like so I can still go out to the pub, get absolutely ratted, fall over in the street and nobody looks at me.”

So what bad motoring behaviour riles Radio 2’s traffic reporter?

“When I was growing up nobody ever used to sound their horn continuously and shout. These days, if you sit at traffic lights for more than two seconds you get someone behind beeping. Drivers have no manners anymore.”

So what’s in the pipeline for the ‘sexiest voice on the radio’?

“I really want to be a singer – I can just imagine myself in a really seedy nightclub in Birmingham wearing stockings and suspenders singing some old jazz songs.

“And I want to learn how to ride a motorbike. When I die, I don’t want to be one of those ladies in a home with facial hair. I want to go doing 80mph on a motorbike in my leathers.”

The Sally Traffic Handbook – Facts, fun and frolics from BBC Radio 2’s Sally Boazman is on sale now priced at £9.99.