The Killers VS Genesis

After a choppy crossing and a dodgy fry-up we arrived at Calais. And set about the 180 mile trip to Paris. Then the arguments started, predictably about what music to listen to. I wanted Oasis or The Killers, Stuart wanted Genesis or Deep Purple. We compromised with silence and turned our attentions to the Mini Clubman we were driving.

Riding off the ferry, we found the Mini’s 1.6-litre engine refined and fairly gutsy, developing 118bhp and 118lb/ft of pulling power which enables 0-62mph in 9.8 seconds and a top speed of 125mph. Mini also claims the Clubman will average 51.4mpg but that’s where my first criticism comes in. The trip from the outskirts of Calais to the fringe of Paris was on a practically empty toll road where we sat at a constant 70mph. However, the trip computer was reading an average of 40mpg. We expect it to be less than the claimed figure, but 10mpg is really disappointing.

The Clubman is billed as a funky, more practical version of the standard Mini and features a third door to get into the back, more rear seat room and a 260-litre boot (100-litres more than the standard Mini). However, 260-litres is still small and – despite only having luggage for one night in Paris – we had to use the back seats for out laptops and cameras.

Our trip to the edge of Paris was trouble free with the French roads embarrassing the workmen-cluttered, bump-ridden, average speed camera-filled motorways in the UK. At one stage we overtook an original Mini Traveller, the Sixties icon which the current Clubman is based on. The driver wasn’t impressed giving a clear ‘that’s not a real Mini grin’. Maybe he was right, but he didn’t have electric windows, refinement and five stars from EuroNCAP. We did, and there’s a great sense of security in knowing that.

Super sat-nav

The trouble started when we arrived in Paris, but at least we had sat-nav. God bless our Tom Tom. It was clear, easy-to-understand, displayed the car’s speed and speed limits and got us to our hotel in a fairly painless fashion. Getting to the venue for the motor show wasn’t as easy after someone (Stuart) typed the wrong address in and we ended up on the other side of the city.

Eventually we made it and realised just how well organised it was. First of all they located it in the middle of a city where it’s easy to get to by public transport. Registering for our press passes was simple and inside there were cars on display from practically all the important car makers.

The drive back to Calais wasn’t as smooth as the journey into the capital. Traffic was horrific, but the Clubman was quite comfortable, easily negotiating the congested Parisian streets. But when it rains the speed limit changes on the Autoroute from 130km/h (80mph) to 110km/h (68mph) – and it’s not too easy to know when to employ these changes. Especially with us unable to switch the speedo from MPH to KM/H, although we later discovered this can be done.

Worn out

Eventually we arrived in Calais (via a quick hypermarket stop) feeling tired, drained and generally hating each other. The Mini coped well, but after buying two crates of suspect lager the car was practically filled to the brim. The Mini Clubman finds its own niche. It’s slightly larger than a supermini but with nowhere near the practicality of a family hatch, despite being in the same price bracket. It’s great to drive - a fun but flawed car if ever there was one.

Getting up at stupid o’clock, travelling on a horrible ferry and working a total of 35 hours in two days took its toll. But the Mini never missed a beat. However, next year, we’re taking the train.

Video: Watch our video round-up of the Paris Motor Show